San Diego’s Hillcrest neighborhood has emerged as a national epicenter of queer dining, becoming synonymous with vibrant, inclusive culinary experiences.
From the McDonald’s emblazoned with a “Livin’ My Truth” banner to fierce drag brunches at Urban Mo’s, the local scene offers something for everyone.
In a new book titled “Dining Out: First Dates, Defiant Nights, and Last Call Disco Fries at America’s Gay Restaurants,” New York Times journalist Erik Piepenburg asserts, “If there’s a hot spot for gay restaurants today, it’s San Diego.”
The history of gay dining in San Diego is rich and intertwined with the struggle for queer visibility and acceptance.
Long before the Stonewall riots, late-night diners and breakfast joints served as safe havens for the local queer community, fostering connections through flirtation, gossip, and solidarity.
As the annual San Diego Pride Parade approaches, it invites a reflection on the colorful and flavorful history of gay dining in the area.
What defines a gay restaurant can vary from person to person.
For some, it may be an establishment popular among the queer community, while others might focus on LGBTQ ownership or simply a festive atmosphere.
Erik Piepenburg offers a more precise definition: “gay restaurants are restaurants where most of the people eating there are gay.”
This can apply regardless of the time of day; these vibrant spaces can transform in character from dawn until dusk, or overnight after the bars close.
Regardless of the time, they remain critical safe spaces for connection, especially for those dining alone.
San Diego Mayor Todd Gloria shares a personal recollection of his early experiences in the Hillcrest area.
As the first openly gay man elected mayor of one of America’s largest cities, Gloria remembers visiting Hillcrest as a determined but anxious 16-year-old.
After passing his driver’s exam, Gloria drove straight to Hillcrest, seeking the freedom that young gay boys often crave.
His visit to City Deli for a BLT took an unexpected turn when he realized he had forgotten his wallet.
“I was fully prepared to wash every dish and clean the bathroom,” he recalled, yet co-owner Michael Wright graciously allowed him to return and pay.
This moment, filled with kindness and acceptance, remains etched in Gloria’s memory as a symbol of the community’s welcoming spirit.
What’s the atmosphere like at gay restaurants, and are there any specific rules?
In short, there are no secret handshakes or exclusive tests for entrance.
These establishments embrace openness and inclusivity, welcoming anyone who walks through their doors.
Piepenburg observes that gay restaurants tend to be less rigid than their bar counterparts, creating an environment where patrons can unwind, engage in conversation, and even share emotional moments.
The origins of gay-friendly dining options can be traced back to World War II when a surge of gay men and lesbians settled in San Diego.
During this era, they found refuge in various gay-friendly bars and restaurants, many famously depicted in sensational literature from that time.
Local historian Walt Meyer notes the existence of several establishments catering to this community, including the upscale and later pizza-serving Bradley’s, a hub for sailors and locals alike.
At the Brass Rail, which occupied an ornate building in downtown, a piano player named Vera drew crowds with her classic tunes while offering a social gathering space for gay men.
Though risks existed for openly expressing affection, strict rules mandated that patrons keep hands on the table to avoid police interference.
The need for safe havens persisted even nearing the late 20th century; friends prioritized eateries that were known for their welcoming atmosphere.
As the gay rights movement surged, Hillcrest underwent a transformation, evolving into a vibrant gayborhood.
In the 1960s, establishments like the Brass Rail transitioned from eateries to bars, solidifying their place in San Diego’s queer history.
Notably, the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s marked a golden age of gay dining when visibility flourished, promoting gay-friendly establishments like Topsy’s diner, later renamed Brians’, and Hamburger Mary’s.
This period also introduced the unique challenges brought about by the AIDS crisis, prompting restaurants to transform into memorials and gathering spots for remembrance and activism.
In this landscape, the Denny’s located in North Park became renowned as the community’s late-night hangout, affectionately dubbed “Gay Denny’s.”
Open 24 hours, this diner served as a gathering point for those seeking a late-night meal, drawing people from diverse backgrounds.
Writer David Klowden recalls the colorful clientele that frequented the diner in the 1980s, from punk rockers to drag queens, creating an environment defined by acceptance.
This lively interaction inspired Klowden and his friends to form a band named Gay Denny’s, capturing the spirit of that vibrant gathering place.
As for the state of the current gay dining scene, it continues to thrive, even as the popularity of gay bars declines, a shift attributed to the rise of online dating.
San Diego boasts a plethora of dining options catering to the queer community, such as insideOUT, Baja Betty’s, Crest Cafe, and Gossip Grill—a notable bar and restaurant that serves as one of the few lesbian bars remaining in the nation.
Furthermore, the district continues to feature landmark venues like Lips, offering a unique drag queen dining experience.
Erik Piepenburg reflects on his journey through San Diego’s gay dining landscape, astonished by the abundance of LGBTQ-friendly restaurants along University Avenue.
In an era where such vibrant clusters are rare, the San Diego dining scene stands as a celebration of inclusivity, connection, and the rich history of queer culture.
image source from：voiceofsandiego
