Jacob Zieben and Jacob Paulson formed a close friendship after meeting in 2013, both being young gay men new to New York City and eager to connect with others in the vibrant urban landscape.
Their friendship flourished over the following two years, until it took a drastic turn when personal trainer Jacob Zieben began dating model Donald Hood.
Paulson described how Zieben seemed to vanish from his life, leaving him with a profound sense of loss and confusion.
“I just wanted him to be happy, and that’s all I really cared about. And I was hoping that he was,” Paulson recalled in a recent interview.
While he eventually moved forward and accepted their friendship had changed irreparably, the news of Zieben’s death on July 31 came as a devastating shock.
Authorities discovered the 34-year-old dead in his Harlem apartment, slumped over his toilet with severe injuries, including a gash on his head and multiple stab wounds.
The circumstances of his death have drawn attention, especially given the allegations of abuse against Donald Hood, Zieben’s husband, who has been charged with various crimes, including burglary and harassment.
So far, no one has been charged with murder, and the investigation into Zieben’s death is still ongoing as authorities await the results of the autopsy.
Following the shocking news, Paulson and several others who were close to Zieben spoke out about their memories, revealing a complex narrative of caring friends and a relationship that spiraled into darkness.
Zieben was remembered fondly for his kindness and selflessness by friends like Marti G. Cummings, a prominent New York City drag queen who knew him well during their formative years in the bustling city.
Cummings expressed sadness over the loss, noting Zieben’s role as a protector of others, which makes his tragic fate all the more poignant.
The entry of Hood into Zieben’s life in 2015 marked the beginning of a shift, according to mutual friends.
Joshua Baker, another close companion, highlighted how Zieben started to withdraw from social circles after entering the relationship, a behavior shift that was noted by those who cared about him.
Baker recalled that invitations were left unanswered as Zieben began to prioritize his relationship over friendships, eventually leading to scenarios where his friends were blocked or cut off entirely.
Starkey, a friend from Texas, recounted a conversation from that time where Zieben disclosed that Hood’s jealousy had begun to dominate his social life.
Despite friends attempting to reach out, Hood assured them that Zieben was flourishing, claiming he had cut ties with his past friendships in pursuit of a healthier life.
However, the reality was starkly different. Years later, court documents revealed a distressing pattern of alleged abuse starting as far back as 2022, with multiple domestic incident reports filed against Hood.
Court records indicated that Jacob had suffered serious injuries during these incidents, leading to orders of protection issued against Hood, which he seemed to repeatedly violate.
This ongoing situation culminated in a series of disturbing events in 2023, with Hood being arrested multiple times, including charges of strangulation following an incident where Jacob nearly lost consciousness.
By the time of Zieben’s death, he had already endured a series of traumatic experiences that many felt could have been avoided if he had maintained his friendships.
Paulson expressed regret and sadness about the lost years of connection, reflecting on a brief reconnection earlier this year that had given him hope.
“I was so excited to have that prospect of him coming back into my life after I’d kind of let him go as a friend,” he said, indicating how deeply the loss has affected him.
On the day of Jacob’s death, Hood himself made the troubling phone call to authorities, reporting Zieben as found dead in their home.
Upon police arrival, they found Hood with injuries of his own, including cuts and a black eye, along with claims that Zieben had attacked him.
However, a criminal complaint provided by prosecutors painted a different picture, revealing a conversation Jacob had with his father just prior to the incident.
Jacob told his father that Hood was coming at him with knives, corroborating an environment of fear leading up to his tragic death.
As the investigation continues, friends and loved ones remember Zieben as more than just a victim, but a cherished part of their community.
Reflected Baker, “Years can go by, but he was our family till’ the end.”
The aftermath of Jacob Zieben’s death serves as a reminder of the importance of maintaining supportive relationships, especially in the face of controlling relationships that can isolate individuals from their vital community connections.
image source from：nbcnews
