In the back room of a children’s play space in Eagle Rock, fathers gather to tackle a common parenting challenge: maintaining composure when their kids are stretching their patience to the limit.
The atmosphere is relaxed as the group, primarily composed of dads, shares personal stories about the exhausting realities of parenting toddlers, who often throw tantrums that can frustrate even the most patient parents.
The conversation flows among the participants, touching on themes such as masculinity, vulnerability, and the challenges of seeking help.
Amid the discussion, a cheerful interruption occurs as Henry, a 6-year-old, enters the dads’ circle holding three baby dolls.
Andrew Thomas, the group’s facilitator and Henry’s father, cleverly quips, “Henry has very recently become a father to triplets.”
This scene encapsulates the spirit of the Dads’ Group at Eagle Rock’s PlayLab, where children are welcomed, but the focus is on fostering a support network for dads and father figures.
The biweekly sessions, which are offered free of charge, emphasize a simple yet profound idea: dads need community too.
The hour-long meetings aim to bring community support back into the realm of parenting, particularly for fathers, who often go overlooked in the conversation about supportive care.
While various support groups in Los Angeles target mothers, creating activities like stroller workouts or family outings to fire stations, fewer options exist for fathers, despite changing gender roles and the increased involvement of dads in childcare.
The Dads’ Group strives to ease some of the difficulties associated with fatherhood.
These informal gatherings generally host four to eight participants in a drop-in format, encouraging dads to engage comfortably in discussions that might typically be reserved for mothers.
Interestingly, the choice of venue plays a significant role. PlayLab provides a vibrant indoor play space, designed for young children to enjoy while dads simultaneously work on building emotional connections and resilience.
As this group meets on a warm June morning, Andrew Jacobs notices his son, Leo, 5, engaging in play and quietly steps away from the discussion to check on him.
Meanwhile, Leo has taken it upon himself to give a stuffed elephant a nap in a toy bed, prompting a subtle shift in the atmosphere of the meeting as everyone lowers their voices in respect of the little ones’ needs.
The dads flex their attention back to the conversation and join in a spontaneous game of catch initiated by the kids.
Jacobs, reflecting on the significance of these meetings, states, “Dads are going through all the same things moms are going through. Being able to talk to other people is really important and helpful.”
Phil Klain, a newcomer to the group, opted to come without his 2-year-old son, hoping to be more present.
He articulated a desire for community and admitted that previous experiences with online dads’ groups didn’t lead to meaningful connections.
“I’ve got friends I can talk about stuff with,” said Klain. “But do I?”
Modern parenting can often lead to feelings of isolation, especially given the hyper-scheduled demands placed on parents to track every developmental milestone.
This phenomenon, referred to as “concerted cultivation” by sociologists, highlights the modern expectations placed on parents without a corresponding increase in resources to help them meet those expectations.
Jennifer Hook, a sociology professor at the University of Southern California, noted, “Our expectations of parents have gone up, but we haven’t really provided them additional resources.”
Additionally, connections to the supportive networks once provided by extended families or community groups have diminished, creating a sense of disconnection.
Co-founder Jason Shoup of PlayLab emphasizes the need for supportive structures, particularly for fathers.
He hopes that with the launch of a new location in Hollywood, a second Dads’ Group will form, further expanding this crucial network.
“If you’re part of a team,” said Shoup, “you should support the team.”
The concept for this dads’ group was brought forth last winter when Andrew Thomas, a children’s television writer and parent coach, proposed creating a space specifically for fathers.
What emerged was simply named the Dads’ Group — a title necessary to ensure dads recognize the space is meant for them.
Since launching in January, attendance has been consistent and growing.
Robert Tellez, a regular participant, anticipated an awkward silence at the first meeting. Instead, he found a welcoming environment that allowed for open dialogue and connection.
“I didn’t know what I needed and how it felt. And now that I’ve put myself in a situation of being a part of a dads’ group – participating, being vulnerable, giving advice, and taking advice – I know what that feels like now,” Tellez shared.
These gatherings provide a respite from the hectic pace of parenting, serving as a designated time for dads to be present and connect with one another.
It’s in these casual interactions that relationship-building happens.
After putting their children’s shoes back on, dads exchange recommendations for birthday party venues, illustrating the development of a supportive community.
Shawna J. Lee, a professor of social work at the University of Michigan, underscores a prevailing issue: the societal tendency to label mothers as the primary caregivers, often relegating fathers to secondary roles.
“This phenomenon can be confusing,” Lee explained, noting that fathers are increasingly taking on an array of childcare responsibilities.
Despite this shift, she pointed out that society does not adequately recognize fathers as equals in the parenting dynamic.
The stigma surrounding dads seeking support can be significant.
Nick Bender, another participant, often overlooked the Dads’ Group before finally mustering the courage to attend.
He expressed feelings of apprehension about entering a new situation with unknown fathers but ultimately found a space where he felt valued and understood.
An unexpected experience solidified this sense of belonging when he arrived for a scheduled meeting that had been canceled, prompting him to engage with other dads for an hour instead.
As the meeting wraps up, Bender reflects on the importance of both solo time and the connections formed within the group.
Frank Lopez, 29, marks today as a significant milestone: his first solo outing with his partner’s children.
Although he initially planned to bring the kids to the Dads’ Group, he misread the start time and missed the meeting.
Still, he felt accomplished watching the children play in the sandbox. “It feels great, honestly, one for her trusting me to do so,” he said of his partner.
Lopez is keenly aware of how critical it is to set a positive example for the children, noting their previous reliance on their mother while expressing a growing bond with them.
He eagerly plans to return for the next meeting, determined to arrive on time.
The Dads’ Group not only fosters individual growth among fathers but also cultivates a sense of community that can significantly impact their parenting journey.
image source from：https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/story/2025-06-11/dad-groups-los-angeles
