In the sprawling urban landscape of Los Angeles, finding a soulmate can often feel like navigating a complex minefield of expectations, confusion, and anxiety.
In response to these challenges, a unique singles event called ‘The Feels’ has emerged, offering participants an alternative approach to the traditional dating scene.
Unlike the fast-paced world of swipe-based dating apps and bustling social mixers, The Feels encourages a slower, more thoughtful way to connect, combining meditation, guided prompts for intimacy, and somatic exercises.
This innovative concept aims to help participants build deeper connections with each other and themselves, emphasizing the importance of tuning into bodily sensations and emotions in interpersonal interactions.
On a recent Wednesday evening in Venice, a Feels mixer took place in an inviting event space designed to foster connection and intimacy.
The room was dimly lit, adorned with candles, and furnished with couches and chairs arranged in a circle, with soft throw rugs at the center, creating a cozy atmosphere complemented by a carefully curated playlist of indie pop and moody electronica.
At the start of the evening, there was an unmistakable air of awkwardness reminiscent of a high school dance.
Guests, primarily in their 30s and 40s, mingled hesitantly by the open bar as groups formed, with women chatting in one circle while men observed from a distance, unsure about how to engage socially.
However, as the event progressed, participants began to pair up, grasping each other’s hands and exchanging meaningful glances.
One notable duo included a woman standing on a couch to meet her partner’s tall stature, with their foreheads touching and eyes closed, creating an intimate moment just moments after meeting.
This exercise, facilitated by somatic coach Zoë Galle, was designed to help participants tune into their bodies and assess how they felt in the presence of their partner.
Galle described the experience as a way for individuals to evaluate their nervous systems: “Do I feel settled?” she asked, emphasizing the goal of fostering authentic connections through physical awareness and vulnerability.
Michael Liu, a 47-year-old doctor from Orange County, shared how the somatic exercises allow him to relax and create a more open state of mind for connecting with others.
He appreciates the nonverbal communication that occurs, noting, “You can feel their energy… somatically there’s a way I can start to trust another person.”
Carly Pryor, 36, who recently relocated to Los Angeles from Maryland, participated in The Feels for the first time, finding it appealing because of its alignment with her values around self-healing and therapy.
“I wanted to meet someone with similar values — it seemed a little more real,” she explained.
Allie Hoffman, the creator of The Feels, conceived the idea during her pursuit of a master’s degree at the Spirituality Mind Body Institute at Teachers College, Columbia University.
At that time in her late 30s, Hoffman was grappling with the challenges of being single in a culture dominated by digital dating platforms.
By launching The Feels, she aimed to connect with others sharing her experiences in the often frustrating digital dating landscape.
The events she developed from this vision ultimately became her master’s thesis, supported by research and theories from noted figures such as Carl Jung and Martha Eddy.
Hoffman professed, “I hated dating apps… The ecosystem that [they] created was unfulfilling. The Feels was my way to say, ‘Hey, we can date better.’”
Since its inception in New York in August 2022, The Feels has expanded to multiple cities, including Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, San Francisco, and Chicago, with Los Angeles welcoming its first event in January 2024.
The gatherings cater to a wide age range, from about 25 to 55, and are tailored for various communities, including heterosexual monogamous and ethically non-monogamous attendees.
According to Hoffman, The Feels is particularly needed in Los Angeles, where aesthetics and age can dominate dating perceptions.
Her approach aims to break down these superficial barriers, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and genuine connection.
“It’s less important what you look like or do for work and more: ‘Do you know you, and how you operate?’” she stated.
In this way, The Feels also serves as a platform for personal growth, helping individuals gain insights about themselves that can enhance their romantic and social interactions.
Hoffman expressed, “If you meet the love of your life, that’s great. But we’re more excited about you getting insight into who you are and how you might date and relate.”
As The Feels continues to grow, Hoffman plans to host three to four events each month, with ticket prices ranging from $75 to $150, adjusting for inclusivity within the queer community.
During the recent mixer, participants were paired multiple times, engaging in conversation prompts that encouraged them to offer compliments and share intimate details about themselves.
Between these sessions, attendees moved about the space, shaking off any lingering awkwardness with lighthearted movements and even dancing.
Additional somatic exercises prompted participants to place their hands on one another’s hearts or share comforting embraces at the end of the evening, emphasizing the supportive atmosphere fostered throughout the event.
As Galle led participants through these exercises, she encouraged them to connect with the sensations of holding someone and providing comfort, highlighting the significance of physical touch and support in relationships.
Benjamin Titcomb, a 36-year-old software engineer, reflected on his experience, noting, “What I learned about myself is I still struggle with being as open as I could be.”
Despite this struggle, he felt positive about the connections that were made and expressed willingness to explore them further.
Tara Haug, 43, who entered the event with previous doubts about online dating, stated, “Being here with people who took the time to do something intentional, I felt really safe with the men.”
Unlike the anonymity often found in digital dating, Haug appreciated the shared commitment to creating a nurturing environment among attendees.
She affirmed, “I connected with everyone!”
The Feels event represents a significant departure from traditional dating formats, emphasizing intentionality, self-awareness, and authentic connection in the search for love within Los Angeles’s complex dating landscape.
image source from：https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/story/2025-06-09/somatic-dating-los-angeles
