A near-fatal traffic stop led Paul Parker, a former police officer, to reconsider his path in life. He found himself drawn to the world of death investigation, a decision that transformed his career and perspective on life and death.
After the harrowing encounter, Parker left behind the police force and began volunteering at various medical examiner offices. Through this shift, he sought to understand the experience of death on a deeper level.
In a recent interview with AirTalk, LAist 89.3’s daily news program, Parker opened up about his years spent on the front lines of death investigation. His memoir, titled **In the Shadows of Death: Writing Life’s Final Chapter**, explores the responsibilities of advocating for the deceased while grappling with personal turmoil.
For professionals in death investigation, encountering death becomes a regular part of life. Parker stated, “What we see is abnormal, but we begin to believe it’s normal.”
This desensitization, while helpful for daily operations, poses significant long-term challenges. As Parker explained, how one copes with the constant exposure to death can greatly influence their overall well-being.
During his drive to the LAist studio, Parker reflected on his experiences. He followed the freeway, recalling specific locations where he had investigated a death, illustrating how pervasive the subject has been in his life.
He acknowledged a persistent anxiety that can come with such work: “You’re always waiting for the truck next to you — the tire to explode and come through the window.”
Learning to cope in healthy ways, Parker believes, is crucial. He learned this lesson the hard way, emphasizing the importance of appreciating life’s moments despite the darkness he encountered in his work.
Parker underscored that working in death investigation becomes part of one’s identity. This immersion in death profoundly affected his personal life, contributing to the breakdown of his marriage and struggles with alcoholism.
His disappointments stemmed not from a lack of understanding from loved ones but rather from his colleagues in the field. He expressed frustration with the perceived inadequacies in communication practices regarding the deceased and their families.
Parker noted, “Maybe they weren’t looking out for families as well as I thought that they should.” Engaging with the families of the deceased is often challenging, and he highlighted how medical examiner offices typically delegate these sensitive discussions to others.
He firmly believes in the responsibility of professionals to clearly communicate the cause and manner of death to next of kin. As he aptly stated, “Whatever you don’t tell someone about the death of their loved one, they’re going to fill in anyway.”
This perspective reflects a pressing need for better dialogue within medical examiner offices. Parker argues for management’s role in reminding staff about their primary mission: to treat each deceased individual with dignity and respect while supporting their families.
Fans of Parker can meet him in person during a book signing event scheduled for July 20 at 2 p.m. in Barnes & Noble, Escondido.
image source from：laist
