In December 2023, Anna Palfreeman, a mother and singer-songwriter from Seattle, faced the unthinkable when her 4-year-old son, Emerson, was diagnosed with leukemia after complaining of leg pain.
The diagnosis marked the beginning of an arduous journey for the Palfreeman family, as Emerson was immediately admitted to Seattle Children’s Hospital to begin frontline cancer treatment, aimed at reducing the cancer cells.
As they navigated this challenging time, Palfreeman and her husband remained by Emerson’s side, while their older daughter, Cassidy, stayed with relatives.
Feeling overwhelmed and heartbroken, Palfreeman turned to music as a means to express her emotions. During one of the early chemotherapy sessions, she sought solace in a quiet chapel within the hospital, where she found comfort in playing the piano.
It was in this space of vulnerability that she penned the song “Too Much,” capturing her heart-wrenching experience that she struggled to articulate.
The lyrics question how one bears the unbearable and carries the uncarryable, echoing the feelings of many parents facing similar challenges.
Palfreeman stated, “There’s something about that song that was profound for me. It was as if I needed to listen to it over and over again. And I’ve never really experienced being comforted by my own songs before.”
The act of songwriting became a critical release and coping mechanism for Palfreeman amidst Emerson’s ongoing treatment, as she realized that families dealing with a severely ill loved one can easily become overwhelmed.
Determined not to just run on empty, she started writing not only for herself but also for others who might be sharing a similar burden.
This creative process eventually led to the creation of her upcoming album, ‘Frontline,’ which is set to release on June 20. The album is a heartfelt compilation of songs reflecting on her experiences as a parent of a child undergoing cancer treatment.
The album is being released in conjunction with The Light Collective, a nonprofit organization aimed at fostering a supportive community for families grappling with childhood cancer.
The partnership is ideal for Palfreeman, who aims for her music to provide hope and connection to other struggling families.
Autumn Monahan, a board member of The Light Collective and mother of a child with cancer, remarked that the album carries a vital message: “You are not alone.”
As Palfreeman pointed out, when Emerson was first diagnosed, she felt a lack of music that resonated with her emotional turmoil.
“There was no music I could listen to. I didn’t know where to go, the depth of pain and suffering,” she expressed. “I hope that by recording it and putting it out in the world, people will have something that they can listen to that didn’t feel trite and feel understood.”
The 11 tracks of the album chronologically depict the emotional journey of Emerson’s treatment over the last nine months. While ten of the songs were recorded in a proper studio, the poignant “Too Much” remains a raw recording captured on a cell phone during that turbulent time in hospital.
Palfreeman diligently balanced her songwriting with the realities of life as a caregiver, managing hospital visits, school arrangements, and daily family life.
She noted, “I would sing a take, and then take my phone off airplane mode, see that I missed a call from my son’s school nurse, teacher, or Seattle Children’s, try to manage those things, then go back in and do another take. It was really probably the most healing thing I could have done.”
Today, Emerson is 6 years old, currently in maintenance treatment, still taking chemotherapy medication every day, and has returned to school. However, he continues to have regular appointments at the hospital.
Palfreeman acknowledged the impact of a child’s illness extends beyond the individual and affects the entire family. In a unique contribution to the album, her daughter Cassidy, now 8, sings harmony in one of the songs and plays synthesizer in several others.
Throughout the process, both children have engaged with the music, asking to listen to the album regularly. Initially, Palfreeman hesitated to share some of the more emotional tracks with Cassidy, but she discovered those darker songs were her daughter’s favorites.
At the album launch event on June 20 at Fremont Abbey in Seattle, Palfreeman plans to perform the songs in the order they were written, sharing insights about her family’s emotional experience throughout Emerson’s treatment.
Her hope is that the music resonates with those coping with any hardship, not just cancer, providing a sense of understanding and community.
“I hope these songs help people find words for how it feels, and in turn, feel less alone and less crazy, especially in our extremely isolated culture,” she said.
A significant moment awaits for Palfreeman: the day Emerson rings the cancer victory bell, a symbol of triumph for pediatric cancer patients after their treatment ends.
“People say their lowest point is when their kid rings the bell because it marks the moment they finally process everything that has happened,” Palfreeman noted.
She hopes that her songwriting journey will help mitigate any emotional crash she may experience upon this momentous occasion.
“I want to feel this as much as I can as it’s coming,” she asserted.
Listeners who have experienced similar pain have found solace in the message of ‘Frontline.’
JJ Kissinger, the executive director of The Light Collective, highlighted the album’s significance: “The gift of this album is that it puts words to a particular experience of suffering and fear and hope and grief, and those words become an invitation for anyone who has experienced something similar to feel known and understood.”
For families interested in the release event, it’s important to note that it is intended for adults and not family-friendly.
The launch will take place on June 20 at 7:30 p.m. at Fremont Abbey in Seattle, with ticket sales available online for $20.
Those interested in Anna Palfreeman’s music can learn more about ‘Frontline,’ listen to the album, and purchase vinyl at annapalfreeman.com/frontline, where it will also be available on major streaming platforms.
Through her music, Palfreeman hopes to convey a message of resilience and the shared strength of those affected by childhood cancer.
image source from：https://www.seattleschild.com/anna-palfreeman-is-singing-through-childhood-cancer-treatment/
