Ruth Beaglehole, a revered parent educator and child rights activist, passed away on April 21 at the age of 81, leaving behind a lasting legacy in the realm of child-centered parenting.
Known for her philosophy of ‘parenting with nonviolence,’ Beaglehole dedicated over 50 years to teaching Angelenos about the importance of empathy in parenting.
Her impact is felt across generations, having helped countless families recognize and overcome the cycles of violence and oppression historically directed at children.
Beaglehole’s teachings often highlighted the necessity of considering children as individuals deserving respect and understanding, rather than mere subjects to be controlled with discipline and threats.
Patricia Lakatos, a lead trainer for child-parent psychotherapy at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, noted the paradigm shift Beaglehole instigated in parenting perspectives, emphasizing that parents should focus on hearing their children rather than solely seeking behavioral compliance.
Originating from New Zealand, Beaglehole moved to the United States during the late 1960s, ultimately settling in Echo Park, where she became entrenched within a community of social justice advocates.
Among her many contributions, she founded several significant institutions throughout Los Angeles, including the cooperative daycare, Echo Park Silverlake People’s Child Care Center, which was featured in the Emmy-winning documentary “Power to the Playgroup.”
Furthermore, Beaglehole established the Teen and Parent Child Care Program at the Los Angeles Technology Center and opened the Center for Nonviolent Education and Parenting in 1999.
This center provided parenting classes in both Spanish and English, allowing her to extend her teachings throughout Southern California and beyond.
Glenda Linares, who worked at the center for 13 years after meeting Beaglehole as a young mother, remarked on her ability to create a supportive atmosphere for a diverse range of parents facing challenges across cultural and socioeconomic backgrounds.
A sense of shared struggles connected the parents in Beaglehole’s classes, as they discussed everything from bedtime battles to meltdowns in grocery stores.
Rabbi Susan Goldberg, Beaglehole’s daughter, highlighted the unifying experience within the parent groups—parents from different backgrounds realizing that they were all navigating similar challenges in raising their children.
Beaglehole’s influence also reached international horizons as she conducted workshops in countries including the Congo, Japan, and India, as well as collaborating with the Māori community in her homeland.
She actively engaged with the community right up until her passing, continuing to teach at various local institutions, including Elysian Heights Elementary Arts Magnet.
Often starting her classes with the open-ended question, “So, tell me what’s going on?”, Beaglehole encouraged parents to share their experiences and challenges openly.
This approach fostered an environment where parents could reflect on their struggles with their children, promoting a deeper understanding of the behavioral challenges faced by both parties.
Mel McGraw, a participant in Beaglehole’s recent parenting group, remembered the importance of recognizing a child’s behavior as a communication attempt rather than a misbehavior.
Beaglehole taught that all behaviors stem from a need seeking fulfillment, and that parents should aim to support and empathize with their children.
In a world increasingly looking for quick fixes, Beaglehole stood firm in her belief that parenting required commitment and intentionality, as she conveyed in a 2022 YouTube video stating, “I don’t have an easy one, two, three.”
Reflecting back on her teachings, McGraw recalled a challenging morning where she lost her temper with her daughter, showcasing the importance of self-reflection and repair in parenting.
After an emotionally charged drop-off at school, she recognized that both she and her daughter were struggling with unfulfilled needs, prompting her to mend the relationship throughout the day.
“It’s those microcosm moments,” McGraw remarked.
In addition to her direct teaching, Beaglehole’s work is set to live on through her forthcoming book, “Principles and Practices of Parenting With Nonviolence: A Compassionate Guide to Caring for Younger Human Beings,” which will be available for free on her website.
Furthermore, numerous videos documenting her philosophy and teaching methods can be found on YouTube, ensuring wider access to her insights.
More than 300 parent educators whom Beaglehole trained now pursue careers in fields such as therapy, education, and community organization, perpetuating her teachings in various settings.
Linares, who developed a curriculum based on Beaglehole’s approach for migrant parents in Tijuana, emphasized how vital this philosophy continues to be in fostering supportive relationships in challenging circumstances.
Through her efforts, Beaglehole leaves behind not only her own family and community but a broader network of parents and educators who are committed to parenting with kindness and understanding.
Her legacy may well extend into future generations, illuminating the path toward empathetic, nonviolent parenting practices for families around the world.
Ruth Beaglehole’s life and work exemplify the immeasurable impact of one individual dedicated to altering perceptions of parenting, empowering parents to nurture with empathy and respect for the needs of their children.
image source from：https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/story/2025-05-23/she-transformed-parenting-in-los-angeles
